Asexuality Awareness Flag

Using Inclusive Language for Asexuality

October 23 to October 29 is Asexuality Awareness Week! So to wrap up this week, I wanted to explain what asexuality is and share some resources on how edit or write about asexuality in a conscientious and thoughtful way. One of the primary ways of editing underrepresented voices that you may not have experience editing is to get familiar with style guides that will “help you develop a basic understanding of inclusive, empowering, and respectful language.”

What is a style guide?

A style guide is used to guide the editing of a project. Editors will include character names, prominent locations, editorial decisions, and other elements of a text or project that they might need to refer to later in a text on the style guide. They can also be used to maintain consistency if the project is passed between editors. The goal of these guides is to ensure consistency across a project; for example, style guides make sure “grey” and “gray” are not used interchangeably. In order to make style guides more inclusive and guarantee that editors are catching moments that could interrupt a reader’s experience, editors can read guides that discuss how to treat language surrounding underrepresented identities so they can catch when these identities are not being treated accurately by authors. For examples on such style guides, try Radical Copyeditor, Disability Language Style Guide, Conscious Style Guide, A Progressive’s Style Guide, GLAAD Media Reference Guide, and Race Reporting Guide.

Asexuality: What is it?

Asexuality is a spectrum of attraction in which a person does not experience sexual attraction. It encompasses many different terms along its spectrum including demisexual and grey asexual. Being asexual does not always mean that someone doesn’t have sex or doesn’t enjoy it, but it can. Under the umbrella of sexuality, there are people who are sex-positive and don’t mind having sex and there are people who are sex-repulsed and don’t like hearing, thinking, or talking about sex. Some asexuals even experience arousal or have a high libido without feeling sexual attraction or a desire for sex.

Attraction

One helpful way to look at asexuality is to break down attraction. There are a few levels of attraction: sexual attraction, romantic attraction, sensual attraction, and aesthetic attraction. Sexual and romantic attraction are often combined in allosexual and alloromantic people (people who experience sexual and romantic attraction), but they are not necessarily the same thing. An asexual person might experience romantic attraction, defined by the Asexuality Archive as “A sense of ‘I would like to be involved in a romantic relationship with that person,'” but they wouldn’t also experience sexual attraction, defined as “A sense of ‘I would like to engage in sexual activity with that person.'” Each of these types of attraction is on its own spectrum.

Similarly, sensual attraction and aesthetic attraction do not exist on either of those spectrums. Aesthetic attraction is defined as “Non-sexual/non-romantic attraction to the way someone looks. Often described as the desire to ‘admire someone like a painting’, but not necessarily anything further,” while sensual attraction is defined as “A sense of ‘I would like to engage in sexual activity with that person.'” Keep in mind that these definitions are somewhat fluid due to the difficulty of defining these feelings and the differences of the human experience. Everyone’s experience is different, and it’s important to listen to people when they have their own definitions for their identities.

Food for Thought

Allosexual people can sometimes be careless when discussing sex because for many it is a natural part of life; however, for asexual (or ace) people, not feeling sexual attraction is just as natural. The Conscious Copyeditor links this article, under their sexuality section, about how easily ace people can feel alienated by cultural norms, especially when prioritizing sex as the “pinnacle of happiness” or saying that sex is part of being human or having a successful relationship.

If you are curious about learning more about asexuality or have questions, try exploring the Asexual Visibility and Education Network, or AVEN, for more nuance.

stack of books with asexual pride flag

Romance is for Everyone: Asexuality in Romance Publishing

A core tenet of the romance genre is the emotionally satisfying ending or the Happily Ever After. Romance publishing, like much of the publishing industry, hasn’t always been inclusive about who is participating in these happily ever afters, however. It has taken a long time for romance publishers to seek out, acquire, and promote books with central LGBTQ+ storylines, and even though this is changing, the genre still does a lot to position straight relationships as the default. Even more pervasive in the romance genre is the assumption that sexual attraction and relationships are the only way to have a successful romantic relationship. The positioning of allosexual relationships as the last word in romance contributes to the invisibility of asexual people and relationships.

Asexual characters didn’t really start making an appearance in fiction until the mid-2010s, according to Lily Herman, a writer for Bustle Magazine. Even when these books began to appear, they were mostly put out by smaller presses or self-published. Content writer and blogger, Dianna Gunn, laments that “a lot of the media offered to us presents really narrow definitions of what constitutes a strong, deep bond. Too often, sexual and romantic relationships take the center stage as the most meaningful relationship you can have.”

Arguably more harmful than erasure of asexual identities in traditional publishing is the outright misrepresentation of ace identities and experiences that exists in older novels and persists in more recent portrayals. According to Lynn O’Connacht, asexuality is often conflated with either aromanticism or celibacy. In many cases, a character’s disinterest in sex cuts off their possibility for a relationship at all and in some cases, a character’s implied asexuality is intertwined with implications that are dehumanizing. Rebecca Burgess, author of the graphic memoir How to be Ace, points to Sherlock Holmes in the BBC original Sherlock, whose sociopathy and disinterest in sexual (or romantic) relationships are conflated. Although she qualifies Sherlock’s sexuality as something that is presented and not explicitly confirmed, there’s enough support within the context of the show to suggest that creators include Sherlock’s ambivalence to relationships under the umbrella of his sociopathy. Burgess writes, “It’s hardly the main problem, but it does contribute to the cultural ignorance of what asexuality is exactly . . . and people’s idea of what a healthy relationship should look like.”

But some novels hit the nail on the head. Burgess raves about Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman’s Good Omens, in which two ace-coded main characters develop a relationship. Discovering Good Omens was a pivotal moment for Burgess. “I saw my exact experience,” she writes, “And it didn’t need kissing or touching to be considered real, or written off as unhealthy. It was a happy, positive love story.” Although this example is from a fantasy novel, it provides a powerful picture of why representation is important for reinforcing the idea that asexuality is a valid sexual orientation and identity and that fulfilling relationships are absolutely attainable for people who identify as asexual. Author of The House in the Cerulean Sea, TJ Klune has made incredible strides in queer representation in general and ace representation specifically. In interviews and on his blog, he advocates for more representation and remains a beacon of hope to other aspiring writers who want to include ace characters and relationships in their novels, whether they identify as ace or not.

Even though romance publishing has a lot of ground to make up for when it comes to who gets their Happily Ever After, readers who are interested in reading more stories that include ace characters and experiences have a lot available to them if they’re willing to do a little digging. Listicles featuring recommendations for asexual romances or book featuring asexual characters are becoming more common, like this one on BookRiot or this one on Tor’s website, and the Aro Ace Database allows you to search for characters who are coded ace or aro (aromantic) in all genres of fiction.